THE COURT FOUNDVIOLATION8/26/2026
- RESPONSIBLE PARTY
- THE OTHER PARTY
- CONFIDENCE
- 96%
FACTS CONSIDERED
A man wrapped his whole mouth around a soda bottle neck while drinking.
RULING
PAUSE — VIOLATION. The bottle-neck technique created an obvious sexual double meaning. The Raised Pinky Rule applies by analogy to questionable drinking form. Case closed.
REMEDY
He must use a normal bottle grip for thirty days and buy the next round of sodas for every witness forced to review the footage in his own head.