The All-The-Meat Outburst

FACTS CONSIDERED

A man heard a sausage-and-pepperoni pizza order and loudly declared that his friend wanted all the meat.

RULING

PAUSE — VIOLATION. “You want all the meat” carries an obvious sexual double meaning. Careless phrasing disturbed an otherwise lawful pizza order. Case closed.

REMEDY

The offender must retrieve the pizza, distribute every slice, and call the order “sausage and pepperoni” in full each time. No abbreviations. No meat commentary. He also owes the table one order of garlic knots for damages.